his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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