I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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