Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
40s are totally the cure
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
