I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
