Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
