For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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