I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
