there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
