What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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