i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
