that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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