Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
