The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize