omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
