found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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