margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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