i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
