So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
