I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
