i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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