I am in a vortex of obligation.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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