Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
