And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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