Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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