You work out of a Hotel?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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