and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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