Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i would punch a child for taco bell
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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