dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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