Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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