wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize