I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize