Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
