I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
