Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
