are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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