Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
