Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize