do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
