i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
