I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
