Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
