so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
