I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
