you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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