dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
