So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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