I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
