Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize