So drunk, too bad you don't want this
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
