I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
