your room smells of hookers.
And success
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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