Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
