i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Everyone says I win the strip club
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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