i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
