You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
