How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
