just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
