yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
