I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The adults are the big ones right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
