Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
