Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i out mim tonsoeep
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