Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
