tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just pee around me
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize