beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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