You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
