Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
