i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
