Pants 0. Shit 1.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
