Duck Duck Cougar?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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