If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
