i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Too much gin, very little bucket
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
