How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
